The Sinking Steam Ship
by bleachdeyes
Summary: Katara & Zuko, hostage situation, isolated together, they each have an opportunity to kill off their enemy, each other. Zutara pairing because kei wont let me do incest


A/N- hey Dsauve here, i know this is my S/N but this is not my story! i know you're all disappointed. I'm just the beta for this one, and I'm mentioned as "kei" at the bottem. This is Ronin's (aka Tile) first story and she's using my name. YAY her! Anyways, just thought you'd like to know why i changed my name to Tile out of nowhere

Hi. My name's Tile. Pronounced like the flooring.

'sometimes, I throw up.' -little animal from Ice Age

"The Sinking Steam Ship"

by Tile

Ch. 1: Has Nothing To Do With a Boat

Once upon a time, Zuko was sailing with his uncle on a big fat ocean; because, it makes sense for a fire bender to isolate himself in a lot of water with no way out if the boat should explode, which it is likely to do, since it's carrying fire benders.

"Sigh," sighed Zuko, "I am so isolated on an ocean of my elemental antagonist."

"Ahh," ahhed uncle wisely, "you are still bitching in the inside because of your father trying to fry your face off and you not being able to decide wether it makes you look sexy or deformed."

"No, Uncle!" bitched Zuko (outside), "It is not that!" He huffed, crossing his arms & turning his back to the fat man, staring out, most pissed off-appearing, into the ocean.

"Very well, my son." hummed fat uncle, turning as well and pulling an apple tart from his wide sleeve. He munched on it happily as he walked back down the stairs into the room that boats have under the deck.

"I'm not your son!" yelled pissy nephew, throwing his arms up angrily into the air, but not turning around. Uncle was gone anyway. "Hmph, crazy old fart." huffed he.

He stared off angrily into the sun for a good amount of time. This is probably horrible for your eyes,  
but that doesn't matter to him, he's only got one good one left. "I can see perfectly fine, you stupid glow worm!" he yelled at the sun. IT PROBABLY MADE HIM AUDIO HALLUCINATE TOO continued the sun.

Anyway, he had a lengthy and very difficult argument with the sun. This took up some of the day and allowed much time for uncle to cook for the both of them. It also provided enough time for uncle and eat for the both of them too, which is what he did when he got tired of trying to call Zuko away from the sun. He feared he would get sunburn, but decided he'd rather eat his food than worry.  
Anyway overexposure may make a young sexy fire prince even stronger, who knew?

Crash! went the boat, knocking the railing into zuko and his breath out of him. wheezing and clutching his stomach, he started slowly toward the front of the boat. "What stupid lazy asshole is supposed to be driving this thing?!" he tried to yell. Yelling's his favorite. Next to muttering uselessly under his breath. "Oh right, I was supposed to be driving this thing." he muttered uselessly under his breath.

THEN! The avatar landed on his deck! "Aw crap, I don't need this." Zuko yelled/muttered under his breath, needing the comfort of both favorite ways of expressing himself. He straightened up and pretended he could breath normally. "Avatar. We meet again."

"Fire Nation thing! You totally crashed into my camp rock!" squeaked the Avatar, the arrow on his head messed up in something the author deemed bed-head because she decided he deserved it for looking like her little glow in the dark cousin. "I'm going to fight with you, but let you escape when I've done enough damage that you wont bother us for a while because I'm a vegetarian!"

During the Avatar's speech, Sokka climbed on board, soaked for some reason. "So if you killed him,  
you'd eat him?" quipped Sokka, trying to decide if he was being the comic relief or attempting to be witty.

"Hah," snorted the fire guy with a smirk, "like wind and water can put out a fire!" He smirked a bit more in the following silence, then, "Oh wait."

The other two boys grinned animatedly (and quite evilly for good guys) at him before jumping him. Well not really. Aang blew a fierce gust of wind at the fire enemy-delinquent-outcast-possible comrade, slamming him back against the railing, knocking the breath he'd just managed to get back,  
back out of him.

Before he had time to gasp for oxygen, Sokka soaked him in ocean water. "Ha! You're like a wet match in a dark cave!" laughed Sokka. It was getting dark, the joke was even funnier, thought Sokka.

"Wow I didn't know I could do that!" said Sokka, staring in wonder at his hands. He shook himself out of it. "Don't tell Katara! I don't want to do any of the work." He whispered, none to discretely to Aang. He then noticed that Aang was all the way across the ship, pinning the little flammer down with his Mary Poppins kite and yelling at him.

"Tell me where it is! And leave us alone! You'll never get away with this! Talk damn you! Shut up!" The author wanted this tense situation, but was ignorant of what the hell the conflict was.

Sokka scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "Geez Aang, lay off a little. We know you're under pressure and trying very hard to suppress your anger at being 112 years old & not having reached puberty yet, but he hasn't done anything that wrong."

Ang's head snapped around to freaking GLOW at Sokka, "Help me interrogate/hold him down!"

"Yipe!" yiped Sokka, and scampered fearfully to his side to hold down the (as of now struggling)  
Zuko, fire prince of all of Narnia!

(...jk. Sorries.)

"You stupid, weak morons!" sputtered Zuko, "Get off of me! I don't have time for you! I was just trying to get somewhere and then I got off course!" He continued to struggle and yell, but as it turns out, a rusty old whipper-snapper shrimp and a lazy non-water bender are indeed stronger than a half-scorched and nearly K-O'ed ex-fire prince. This is the scene Katara walked in on.

She gasped. Then yelled. "I take a little longer to show up for battle because a girl can't show up with bed head to see the enemy and THIS is what happens?!"

The boys gulped.

"Can't you see he's weak? Where is your honor?!" she growled at them.

"B-but Katara, it's Zuko!" squeeked Aang. He's squeeky.

"I am not weak!" rasped Zuko from beneath the two little boys pinning him down.

"I don't care who he is! GET-" she raised her arms in a slow, menacing way, and a shadow crept over the three wide-eyed boys, "Off of him!!!" A huge wave came crashing down on top of them,  
and when it was gone, only Zuko remained.

He sat there, staring bewildered up at her. At the sounds of the other two boys confused and frightened cries from the water, she stopped huffing and smiled sweetly back at him.

Zuko tried to think of something smart to say while he patted his pockets, somehow unnoticeably,  
looking for a bomb, "Uhm..."

"Don't worry about it, the fight would have ended in not serious injuries on both sides & you getting away anyway. I just thought I'd speed things up. Traveling the world or whatever we do requires a lot of energy and I don't want to lose any sleep. Hmm, so see ya around." And with that she jumped... overboard... with a splash!

"Damn, I was this close to killing her!" muttered Zuko to himself, most disappointed because he'd just found a very festive holiday fire work to use on her. When suddenly, splash! The little water fairy was back!

He stood and pulled back to throw the grenade-(grenades bombs & fireworks are interchangable says author!) "When the hell did we shove off for sea?!" she demanded in a most frightening tone,  
effectively stopping his attack.

Thinking idly for a moment, Zuko decided if the male water fairy were here, there would be a shove-off joke.

"Wait, when did we what?" yelled Zuko, (quietly). He looked out over the front of the boat that had been previously wedged in apparent Avatar-rock. It was now bobbing steadily up and down, water passing peacefully under as they sailed outward to the sea.

"I can't see the land! Where are we?!" fretted Katara, pacing around the back of the boat; the direction her nice warm bed. That beautiful comfy bed... surely it was growing further and further away. Actually it was probably just a blanket. Probably on a rock. With bugs! "How did we get so far away?"

"Don't worry son, HICcup, we're back on course to beer and cake city! Woodoodooda doo da do! HIC! Don worry, be happy!" slurred Uncle Fat Head drunkenly from the cabin/steering wheel/captains quarters. Zuko covered his face and let out a frustrated groan.

But wait! He had the avatar-follower isolated! "One down, two to go," he almost said to himself out loud, which would have been very stupid.

On second thought, he decided to say it out loud to heighten the deadliness and terror of the scene.  
"One down, two to go." he said in a velvety voice, (haha, velvet) raising the bomb again so she could see it, and taking a step back-

"Aa oh my god no!" cried Katara, stumbling backwards in an attempt to flee (on a boat, in the middle of the ocean) She shot the bomb out of his hand with a spray from the ocean. Turns out she can defend herself because she's not that OOC. Yet.

"Damn, that was my last one," muttered Zuko, glaring back at the little water bender, "I'll just have to try fire bending." he smirked at her, and moved his hands up in a pose to start throwing flames.

"No wait! Stop! Seriously! I'll put it out if you start a fire." That stopped him. Actually, the burning steam forming in his still-damp sleeves instead of dry fire stopped him, but she didn't know that.

Thinking quickly, Katara came up with a new argument to save her ass, "If you keep me alive, the Avatar will come after you to save me and you can fight with him again! And maybe this time you can kill him! No, that wouldn't work, we always end up parting ways. Hmm...well maybe if you held me hostage & made him take my place. He's always very honest and keeps to his word and is all self-sacrificing like that..."

A few seconds after she stopped talking, Katara thought maybe the last part wasn't necessary and may have put Aang in a very deadly situation...yeah definitely unnecessarily. Oh well.

"Either way, he'll come after me now and I can kill him." scoffed Zuko. But then he remembered that he was incapable of killing her. With fire bending. For a bit. "But I suppose keeping you hostage can't hurt."

Katara slumped in relief, "Phew thank god...I think?"

Tile: that would so be the end of that chapter! buahahhaah

REVIEW PLEASE! It makes primitive baby elephants' tummies happy.

What brought on this insane story written by someone who obviously knows nothing of Avatar and was stupid enough to think Sokka and Katara were dating?

Tile: i hate watever the hell kind of internet i hav! its unreliable!  
Kei: u dont even kno the type!  
Tile: sometimes its there sometimes its not verizon dsl msn i dunno anymore i gotta go find some sugar before i kill this internet Kei: i have frosting!  
Tile: curse u!  
Kei: good idea curse the one with the frosting, u dont get it when i die!  
Tile: wat??? u meanie! anyway i made tea, & its not very good, & u R getting that when i die Kei: thanks...i dont like tea! fine then im just going to eat some more FROSTING Tile: & im going to kill my internet! its still not working that piece of shit!  
Kei: haha have fun Tile: it hates me!  
Kei: talk about it behind its back and spread some rumors Tile: after all we've been through together! it all meant nothing to you didnt it internet! yah ill tell everyone it has herpies forget about viruses peice of crap i want to read ff because i hav no life! maybe my neighbor signed into it & is making it slow keishi read me an ff, im bored!  
Kei: lol nice, i want to read ff and it wont let me either read u one? im sry i cant recommend you any until ive either gotten over my zutara obsession or you become a steam shipper with me Tile: ok im a steam shipper! need ff! katara is the girl water thingy & zuko is the flaming scar boy Kei: lol wow ur really desperate Tile: yehehhehehes Kei: and u have no knowledge of the show so i cant accept this, plus im currently in the looking process of ff not the reading process Tile: aw i know enough about the show Kei: no poser!  
Tile: in another sec i might start making up my own ff about it just to spite u Kei: lol do it i gotta read esp since ur apparently bad at writing Tile: once upon a time sokka & katara decided they werent really related & they dont mind incest anyway o really? hmm lemme think hahah yah thisll be painful but i hav nothing to do Kei: ew avatar incest Tile: aw honestly before i knew they were bro & sis, i thoguth they were cute together i thought they were together haha but nobodys really ever together like that especially in the beginning of an anime anyway, steam shipment in from the tilelands!  
Kei: wow that just shows how much u DONT KNOW even if u dind tkno that much the fact that theyre always with other people romantically shows they arent togheter Tile: it was the very beginning! when it was very new! anyway,  
Kei: and they were obviously related and talkd about THEIR gran gran and THEIR father and how THEIR mother died Tile: i wasnt listening! i came in for a second & asked the boy if baldy was gonna steal the girl away from her bf

Play the Game! See if you can guess which parts of the conversation (that the story was originally written in) go where in the story! Some lines are grouped together. Sorry this is also unedited, for content and grammer

Kei: wow big words Kei: this was much debated on Tile: quite!  
Kei: audio hallucination nice Kei: ok go ahead, im glad ur caught on to the essanse and true purpose of the charactors though Tile: y thank u Kei: ur welcome Kei: the wind thing is wrong! im prepared to argue why fire beats air Tile: well mostly its wrong, but u do blow out matches Kei: true, but theres another problem, sokka can't bend thats why he he's having an affair with a boomerang Tile: o r u serious? y not? hahah a boomerang?  
Kei: yeah he's seriously in love with his boomerang hahaha but yeah katara does the bending he wants nothing to do with it Tile: y?  
Kei: hes very skeptic about it all Tile: thats weird Kei: watch the first episode its in the first ten minutes Tile: ah otay on w/ the story!  
Kei: yay!  
Kei: lol "talk damn you shutup" Kei: poor narnia, they go from ice queen to fire prince Tile: yah well they were probably sick of winter Kei: course Kei: cuz he hasnt hit puberty yet even though hes 112 Kei: a bomb? what is this loony tunes Tile: hahahhahahahahahah wat they dont hav lil granades or something?  
Kei: not that i've seen, but go ahead where are u going with this Kei: thats more of a sokka thing but w/e Tile: yah maybe it is a little too happy and out of it for her, but kinda girly to bitch about things disturbing her sleep & needing her beauty rest or watever Kei: yeah sokkas the girly one in the group, which is why me and kristen made him gay Tile: hahahhah w/ who?  
Kei: zuko of course, theres not many charactors to work with, fat uncle, bald glowy kid, people that are only in one episode, backstabber who redemed himself by dying and cabbage guy oh theres zhoa too but he died and was a bastard Tile: theres that kid w/ the straw hanging out of his mouth whos zhoa Kei: yeah i mentioned him, hes the backstabber who redemed himself by dying, jet. zhoa is the fire nation guy that wants to A capture aang and B kill zuko Tile: hahah dont know him, a & b should switch actions & characters for the sake of yaoi Kei: oh there are is sooo much opertunity for yaoi Tile: should i continue the story?  
Kei: yeah go ahead it needs an ending-not that im telling u to end it just continue Tile: otay where was i.  
Kei: no clue water fairies Tile: katara had just jumped back on & yelled about something Kei: his name is iroh, but i imagine its more fun to not use his name Tile: yes i like calling him fat uncle & such Kei: give it time lol wow captured katara, this is officially a zutara fict, but ur way was more rumorous Tile: rumorous?  
Kei: h  
Tile: o hahah well thanks that would so be the end of that ch! buahahhaah omg i should write this down & continue it later when the writing muse thing has passed the hell over!  
Kei: i've been copy pasting this HA! im so ahead on u ill plagerize it for you Tile: hahah yah i was gonna ask if u could use ur account to post it wat should i call it? the sinking steam ship!  
Kei: idk titles are hard lol thats good Tile: shouldi use it or try harder?  
Kei: no use it it was funny, ill edit it and stuff so i can lie and say i have the right to plagerize when i get done ill tell you and u can approve before i post it

Who's not surprised/pissed off that I really don't know that much about Avatar?


End file.
